Friday, May 8, 2009

Caretaker in Paradise


My husband, Rick, is a smart and handy guy. You know the type. He thinks The Way Things Work is a relaxing read. He spent a week taking a Myers-Briggs Certification Course because it sounded like fun. He’s a walking Wikipedia.

Of course, knowing how to fix a faucet or spit-roast a pig isn’t worth a hill of beans if He Who Knows How would rather spend the day on the couch, watching CBS "Sunday Morning" and geotagging digital pictures of Egypt. Neither of which advances my expat ambitions.

So I never really expected much when, on long-ago evenings, I’d steal a moment from our regularly-scheduled broadcasts to read aloud the occasional exotic tidbit from my monthly Caretaker Gazette.

CARIBBEAN – Culebra, Puerto Rico
LOOKING FOR a semi-retired person or couple for part-time light duties on a small Caribbean resort. Free housing on the resort's premises plus moderate pay in exchange for about 50 hours per month work. Applicant should be in good health, resourceful, and addiction and drug-free. If you are handy, it is a plus.

When I'd get to that last bit – the bit about being handy – that’s when Rick’s head would swivel around and he’d sputter “I have no intention of spending my retirement changing light bulbs and fixing air conditioners.”

I’d point out that I’d be working right alongside him – chatting up the guests, packing their lunch boxes and such. I’d remind him that when we weren’t working, we’d be kicking back, sipping frosty Pina Coladas – really, how hard could it be?

Now, years later, I get the occasional nice email from the Caretaker Gazette, inviting me to renew my subscription. They toss out tantalizing offers from Hawaii, Fiji, Australia. They paint beautiful, cerulean pictures of lives well-lived in cozy huts and waterfront mansions.

But Rick's still not buying what I'm selling, so here we sit. Him with all the skills in the world, and me with all the schemes. It's almost as if he doesn't trust me....



Photo (c) http://www.rickcollier.com/ Take a look at Rick's site for more pics of Egypt (geotagged!), Hawaii and other exotic lands.

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